twist.

I think I've made a big mistake. But for odd reason...I like it, I like you.
My life is in need of change and I feel it coming along.
I've been going through the motions. But im happy enough.
Change. Change. Change!

rolllller derby.

I'm sick. Zohn is here. Hooray!

...and a kiss with a fist is better than none

Finally home. I'm far too lazy to take a shower to wash away the dirt tan i've accumulated. I've got sun kissed checks and a warm heart. I've been laughing and lacking sleep too often. I want to nap all day long. I'm glad i'm finally home...I missed my kitties and room-mates. Time to deal with the real world agian after a week or so of sunshine, friends, music and free beer.

OOOH BOY!

Texas! oh my! The trip here went very well...stopped in a few places to see friends and explore and to stretch our achy legs and to fill our empty stomaches. The ride was filled with lots of laughs, avoiding getting lost and really great 1990's mix tapes....big beefy, rape whistle roller derby team, crack head babies in philly, french mimes, awesome diners, red neck flea markets, getting stuck at a screamo show, laila's church house, peeing our pants, hotel rooms with hot tubes and getting very metal, drunk driving, falling in love with beautiful ladies, epic views, dance parties, wizards causing mischief on the mountain tops, dog heaven, hanging out drinking beers near the river, eating too much food...the list goes on and on....

i'm sitting on shirly's deck over looking the mountains. I really dont want to go back to brooklyn yet.

asheville

i've been in a car for hours and hours. texas soon. more later. 

new york city has alot of pretty lights...

So much madness! Life is pretty great again. Still a blur of madness and running around. I' m far too lazy to go into details of the last few weeks...so much to type and explain. Although last night I got far too wine drunk so my brain feels slushy. Today I enjoyed breakfast with a friend and then met up with Jess for coffee. Found free curtains, sold some clothes to beacons closet and eat really yummy vegan pizza. I leave for Texas tomorrow, MEGA ROAD TRIP! It's going to be so epic! probably 3 days of driving but it'll be worth it.

Hahahaa

The weather is fucking beautiful! It's around 60-70 degrees and it's mind blowing. I went on a picnic yesterday with Jess, Slim and MG in McCarin park. I woke-up early when my friend Cory went to work and I'm so happy I wokeup...I cant miss another beautiful day. Anyways....I feel like i'm kind of feeling myself again. Better update later..I just cant be online now-it's a waste.

OOOH BOY!

I woke-up around noon today (go me!) it was nice because the last two weeks i've been sleeping till 5pm. I feel yucky and I have the shakes...I'd like to go back to sleep....but i'm forcing myself not too. Went to Nev's last night, drank too much, told someone one of my secrets that no one know's in new york...woops. I feel much better then I did the last few days. It was nice being alone for the night. I want someone to go on a long bike ride with me today. I think i've let everything go. I need to just explore more..possibly move soon?

Goodnight.

Today has been a day of nothing. I fell asleep drunk. Woke-up hungover. Going to bed alone feeling sad as ever. I'm still not sure why I feel this way. Someone tell me. Or just say in my life...in and out...in and out..I'm just wasting my breath I feel like..On people and things that dont really matter in the long run. My brain feels fuzzy...Goodnight.

Are you thinking what i'm thinking?

Thursday : I went to a shitty show. I felt so yucky my brain, body and heart all hurt. I had a huge anxiety attack and freaked out. Everything in my head exploded and I just wanted to scream. ..I ended up saying some things to someone that i've kept to myself. I'm still not sure if I should of said some of the things I said. ..I think I just look dumb now. Hm.

Friday : Oooooh Friday. I woke-up and met Jess for coffee...we sat and talked. She is seriously one of the best people to talk to... We ate the best Thai food i've ever had in NYC...I got vegatarian pad thai. Seriously...SO GOOD. I dyed her hair and we watched "say anything" it made me quite sad but it's such an adorable classic movie...We met up with some of her pals at Barcade and hung out there for a bit...I left to meet Mary, Stevie, Drew, Ryan and a bunch of other kids at Trash Bar...we drank beerz and got wasted...Drove around Brooklyn...Tried going to a party that wasnt going on any longer at 6am...Stayed up till day light and kept drinking...I must say I was fucking wasted (always a bad idea) Me and Mary decided to go drink beers on my stoop together...so picture this...Two girls at 10am drinking tall cans...wearing huge sunglasses with our boots untied. ..pretty epic...we yelled at passing people and greeted everyone with a good morning bushwick...5 beers later we were beyond wasted on my stoop...when a cop VAN pulls up with 6 cops. Hahahaha....they pull over and talk to us and dont even give us tickets (pretty fucking awesome!) We didnt go to bed till around 1 and slept till 6:30. The rest of the day was pretty lazy...I mostly just drank alot of coffee and watched youtube videos.

Saturday: I mean, I guess...Friday and Saturday are mushed together since I've been lacking proper sleep. I went to a party at Briana's loft...which lead to about...3 other parties in the same building. I origanly went there for ONE drink...but since it had a free bar of booze...and friends I couldnt leave. I met some really funny people and got beyond drunk and passed out with my dress and boots still on. It was a good night.

I slept till 4pm and it felt soooo great. Then Amanda Ryan and I layed in my bed till 8:30 just talking, looking at dumb shit on the internet and eating burgerz! I have no energy to go out and do anything really. I think im going to just lay in bed and read and clean my filthy apartment.